So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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