I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize