Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Im part way to drunk.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize