Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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