I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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