The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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