Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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