they need to just BURY HIM!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You are the jesus of drinking
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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