I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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