Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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