covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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