Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize