it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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