she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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