someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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