before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize