he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize