bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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