I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize