well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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