Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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