There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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