capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize