My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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