I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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