I wish I could punch you in the face.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize