Umm I'm too high to move.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
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I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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