So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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