Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize