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  • Submitted by ingebeastly on Jul 15, 10 at 2:36pm

    but then you'd receive a new monthly gift: syphilis.

  • 99 56
    Submitted by 110340 on Jul 15, 10 at 2:22pm

    Dear pretzel guy, fuck you.

    • 34 52
      Submitted by firsty on Jul 15, 10 at 4:18pm

      dont worry, he's with me. these pretzels are making me Firsty!

  • 72 40
    Submitted by nIKOLEDGAF on Jul 15, 10 at 4:24pm

    Where the fuck is KeithStone?\nI'd rather him then pretzel and firsty...D:

  • 77 57
    Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 15, 10 at 2:53pm

    Ok its a seinfeld quote : these pretzels are making me thirsty. And u arent even quoting it right so stfu and find a different website to be stupid on.

    • 47 42
      Submitted by itouchgnomes on Jul 16, 10 at 3:02am

      it's obviously a play on words.

  • 74 52
    Submitted by bandaid on Jul 15, 10 at 3:03pm

    imagine how many guys would have sex with you more than once if you didn't say stupid shit like that.

  • 66 54
    Submitted by [][][] on Jul 15, 10 at 2:37pm

    fuck you pretzel! you aren't KeithStone!

  • 61 47
    Submitted by sexyupsguy on Jul 15, 10 at 10:38pm

    I guess it depends on your hourly rate?

  • 65 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 10 at 2:26pm

    You mean if you were pregnant?!

  • 53 43
    Submitted by buzzcutt on Jul 15, 10 at 4:25pm

    imagine how well you could communicate if you would use complete sentences...

  • 56 49
    Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 15, 10 at 3:05pm

    Oh okay so are "I'mKeithStone," "firsty," or yoda? I'm confused with your stupidity..

  • 60 58
    Submitted by italianbabie on Jul 15, 10 at 6:17pm

    It's sad how people actually take the time to make up names like firsty or pretzel just to annoy others. Do you guys have no lifes? Now while ur responding to this text, I'll be out having a life.

    • 29 55
      Submitted by ilovethekillers on Jul 16, 10 at 1:15am

      lives*\nApparently part of your "having a life" doesn't include learning spelling/grammar skills.

  • 62 62
    Submitted by _Emerica_ on Jul 15, 10 at 2:33pm

    Timing always fucks me over on that...

  • 52 46
    Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 15, 10 at 10:06pm

    WOW WHORE!!!!!!!

  • 55 56
    Submitted by Dingus on Jul 15, 10 at 2:36pm

    Probably too many ya dingus!

  • 56 64
    Submitted by juicy_cooter on Jul 15, 10 at 2:49pm

    I love pretzels in my cooter

  • 50 53
    Submitted by hooah33 on Jul 15, 10 at 3:36pm

    About 10% more???

  • 57 69
    Submitted by LSUFratdaddy on Jul 15, 10 at 2:17pm

    what's the deal with all the pretzel thing?

  • 48 53
    Submitted by necrocat on Jul 15, 10 at 4:36pm

    About 33% more if you have an average cycle.

  • 43 48
    Submitted by janky on Jul 16, 10 at 2:52am

    Who the fuck says monthly gift?

  • 40 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 10 at 6:59pm

    "lives"

  • 40 49
    Submitted by broncos4life on Jul 17, 10 at 3:31pm

    In soviet russia monthly gift has you!

  • 38 46
    Submitted by sevenohtree on Jul 15, 10 at 4:19pm

    Child support?

  • 38 49
    Submitted by aaronsgirl27 on Jul 15, 10 at 11:26pm

    That's just called being a hoe.

  • 37 52
    Submitted by cjhoops on Jul 16, 10 at 11:42am

    Damn! These pretzels are making me thirsty!

  • 44 66
    Submitted by kmomokbs on Jul 15, 10 at 2:52pm

    imaginging how many promotions ide give you cuz im the boss

  • 23 32
    Submitted by noanswr on Jun 20, 11 at 5:53pm

    303 hilarious hahah

  • 41 90
    Submitted by pretzel on Jul 15, 10 at 2:54pm

    Pretzel will forever reign ! Banish all you haters he will : )

  • 44 96
    Submitted by pretzel on Jul 15, 10 at 2:15pm

    Pretzels always make me firsty!