I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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