Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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