i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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