In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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