I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize