wrigley field is MILF paradise
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize