Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize