I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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