Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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