I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize