Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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