booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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