the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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