You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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