so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize