I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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