I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize