I wish i was in the wii world.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize