I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize