My Higher Power is John Stamos
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize